Preserving The Nuclear Family – With Tim Goeglein – Why is the family unit so important? Is it even relevant in our culture today? Join us to hear more about this important topic!

Air Date: 04/13/2020

Guest: Tim Goeglein

On-air Personalities: David Barton, Rick Green, and Tim Barton

Listen:

Download: Click Here

Transcription note:  As a courtesy for our listeners’ enjoyment, we are providing a transcription of this podcast. Transcription will be released shortly. However, as this is transcribed from a live talk show, words and sentence structure were not altered to fit grammatical, written norms in order to preserve the integrity of the actual dialogue between the speakers. Additionally, names may be misspelled or we might use an asterisk to indicate a missing word because of the difficulty in understanding the speaker at times. We apologize in advance.

 

Rick:

Welcome to the intersection of faith and the culture. It’s WallBuilders Live, we’re talking about today’s hottest topics on policy and faith and the culture, always from a biblical, historical and constitutional perspective. We’re here with David Barton, America’s premier historian and our founder of WallBuilders. Jonathan Ritchie is with us, he’s sitting in for Tim Barton who’s travelling around the world sharing the good news. And then later in the program, we’re going to have Tim Goeglein with us from Focus on the Family.

We want to encourage you to visit our websites today, wallbuilders.com and wallbuilderslive.com. Two different websites, lots of great information on both websites. WallBuilders, that name comes from the scripture in Nehemiah that says arise and rebuild the walls that we may no longer be a reproach. We’re rebuilding the foundations of America, bringing back the principles that made America so great in the first place. And if you want to know more about all that, go to our website, wallbuilders.com, a lot of great materials for  you there, resources that you can use, Constitution classes you can have in your home and your Sunday school class, other programs that you can use to study with others what really makes a nation free, to go back to those founding principles.

And then at wallbuilderslive.com, you can get a list of our stations around the nation, where you can hear the program, you can also get downloads of recent programs in the archives from the last few weeks. And then it’s a great place to also make a contribution. There’s a button there that you can click on, where when you make a donation to WallBuilders Live, you are coming alongside us and investing in freedom. You’re helping us to restore America’s constitutional republic and we appreciate you as a listener being a part of that. We’re a listener supported program that only happens with folks just like you and we’re thankful for every one of you across the nation who are sending in those donations on a regular basis. You can do that online, making a monthly or one-time contribution. Whatever works for you, we greatly appreciate it.

Alright, guys later in the program, Tim Goeglein is going to be with this from Focus on the Family. We’re talking about the nuclear unit of the family, good idea or bad ideas that work or not work, differing opinions out there in our culture. It used to be pretty universally understood in America that the family was the nuclear governmental unit and it was important to have a father and a mother in a home and that’s what would make a good society, but not so much universally understood anymore.

David:

Confession time. Up till just a very few years ago, I had no clue what they meant with the term, nuclear family. I didn’t know what that meant…

Jonathan:

Like a nuclear bomb or?

David:

Well, exactly, what it was a nuclear family. And so, I looked even, I know what it is now and I know because of my background in science, that it’s a nucleus. You have a nucleus, which that’s the center, everything revolves around the nucleus, your protons, your electrons, everything moves around that, is the center. And so, the nuclear family was a unit that had a center to it, everything else rotate around that. So, from the nuclear family, that’s where we have the extended family and from that comes things like churches and things like governments and etc. But it’s all about the family and family is the basic, that’s the building block. So, you talked about an atom or a molecule is a basic building block of everything, everything is built off that.

So, it is something that has a central core nucleus to it, does nuclear and it is the basis of everything else. But I was looking even online just in preparation for the program and I was amazed at how many online sources say well nuclear because the family came up in the nuclear age in the last 50 years. How about Adam and Eve? And I mean, it’s like I’m finding out that not having a good handle on what nuclear family meant, I’m not the only one that was out there.

Jonathan:

I mean, family still exists before you know, the 50s.

David:

That’s exactly my point. And so, the family which, the nuclear family is your traditional mother and father and children. It’s not your great grandparents and your uncles and your cousins. It’s that intimate family unit, that direct family unit. Clearly, they did not exist before nuclear energy was discovered in the 50s.

Jonathan:

I mean, I don’t remember them.

David:

Yeah, that’s right. And it’s all built around your experience. That’s exactly it.

Jonathan:

Yeah, if I didn’t experience it, it didn’t exist. Right?

David:

It didn’t exist. You are, I don’t know you’re closer to Gen Z than a millennial. At least Millennials are having that red drift than a right drift. But I’ve got to admit, Rick, I had no clue what a nuclear family was until just recently. And so, we were watching, just an article came across our desk from the Atlantic magazine. Now, the Atlantic magazine is where I go to get my news. I just, I say that sarcastically…

Rick:

I was about to say I’m going, wait a minute, wait a minute. Did I hear that right?

David:

Yeah, it’s one of the most left leaning pieces out there. It’s kind of like salon magazine and others, along that Huffington Post, etc. But they had a headline that says ‘The Nuclear Family was a Mistake’. That’s interesting.

Jonathan:

Like, is this a personal testimony or?

David:

Yeah. That’s right. That’s right. And the guy who wrote it is a guy who has really, he’s been a rational thinker that would kind of transcend conservatives and liberals. He’s been just a good thinker. And so oftentimes he comes up with stuff that seems to be conservative, because he’s thought through it. But for fellow Brooks to come up with the nuclear family was a mistake, that was a real kind of captivating thought. What do you mean it’s a mistake and why would it be a mistake? And you know, the history of cultures and civilizations for 5,500 years recorded, history says it’s not a mistake. So, whereas… And so, we read it and looked at and thought, you know, a good person to kind of analyze what he said and whether this is right or wrong would be Tim Goeglein. And Tim was with the Bush’s…

Jonathan:

He focuses on something. Right?

David:

He focuses on the family. Good setup, Jonathan, where’d it go? He was with Bush for eight years in the White House and now as the vice president of governmental affairs of Focus on the Family. And when we do our pastors briefings in Washington, DC, we have Tim come speak every briefing. He’s so good on condition of the family, the stats and what’s going on. He’s really a great speaker.

Jonathan:

The guy ties a mean bow tie as well.

David:

Yeah, he does. Yeah, you’re exactly right.

Rick:

He does. That’s right. Tim Goeglein will be with us when we return. You’re listening to WallBuilders Live.

BREAK

Hi, this is David Barton. I want to let you know about a brand new book we have out called, ‘This Precarious Moment: Six Urgent Steps That Will Save You, Your Family and Our Country. Jim, Garlow and I have co-authored this book. And we take six issues that are hot in the culture right now, issues that we’re dealing with, issues such as immigration and race relations and our relationship with Israel and the rising generation millennials and the absence of the church and the culture wars and where American heritage is, our godly heritage. We look at all six of those issues right now that are under attack and we give you both biblical and historical perspective on those issues that provides solutions on what each of us can do right now to make a difference.

These are all problems that are solvable if we’ll get involved. So, you can grab the book, ‘This Precarious Moment’ and find out what you can do to make a difference. ‘This Precarious Moment’ is available at wallbuilders.com.

Rick:

Welcome back to WallBuilders Live, thanks for staying with us. Tim Goeglein back with us, always good to have you, brother. How’s it going?

Tim:

It is a great honor always to be with you and with you as WallBuilders.

Rick:

Well, David and Tim and I, all three thought with a nuclear family article we saw in the Atlantic was a call for Tim to come back on the program. So here you are.

Tim:

That’s very kind. Thank you.

Rick:

And I assume you saw the article, wondered what your thoughts were?

Tim:

I did. I read the article twice. And I felt that unfortunately, David Brooks who is a friend and with whom on many things over the years, we have agreed, I think if I may say that he misses a very essential point. Because for those who have not read it, you know, the bottom line is that he says that the nuclear family: mom, dad, children is a mistake over against the idea of the extended family: mom, dad, children and aunties, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc. He says that we’ve arrived at a time in America, you know, when we need a greater and broader definition of the extended family and perhaps less so of the nuclear family.

And we as Focus on the Family believe that that is not correct, that we’ve needed better, stronger, wider, deeper relationships within the nuclear family more than ever. But that does not preclude the extended family. We need strong extended families. We need strong nuclear families. And I think for anyone on any coast in the middle of the country in the south, the north, etc, who looks at the cultural landscape, Rick, I think they have concluded that if there is one thing that we need more of and stronger of, it is the American nuclear family. And you know, family is the center of civilization. It’s the smallest civilization. Everything grows from the family. And so, with no holds barred, family in America has never been more important than right now.

Rick:

Yeah. Yeah, I remember, you know, of course, Hillary’s book, ‘It Takes a Village’ years ago, it seemed like the mindset of that was, you know, not necessarily that family’s not important, but that you could hand over a lot of that and should hand over a lot of that responsibility beyond the family, to the teachers, to the schools, to the government, to the village, to the community and not that we’re anti-community at all. But the scary part about that is, is that means less responsibility on those closest to the child that can actually have that deeper as you said relationship with the child and have the accountability with the child. Is that the difference between this idea of an extended family, not to mean like grandparents and cousins and whatnot, but extended in terms of they’re trying to make what is normally non-family, just the community itself family? Is that the danger that the more you rely on those outside the family, the less responsible those closest to the child would be?

Tim:

Yeah, I really love that question, Rick and I love that distinction. Because we’re conservatives and conservatives always say that local is best. We love community. We love neighborhood. We love our church. We love the place where God has placed us, whether that’s in the middle of New York City or the middle of Central Texas. Wherever God has put us down, you know, that can be our home. You know, and that is worthy of our love, our respect, our shielding and our protection. But we must never confuse the idea of the blessing of living in a community or living in a neighborhood to the exclusion of the family.

You know, family is the earliest part of the beauty of the Holy Bible. What one of the remarkable gift, the idea of our first parents, our Adam and Eve, children together, you know, no one, we must say is placed into a family because he is perfect. Family is our imperfect. God places us in a family for very specific reasons. And we have to be careful and I’m glad you raised that as a second point, Rick. We have to be careful about definitions.

Mothers and fathers matter. And every child deserves to have a mother and a father. What a father brings to a nuclear family, what a mother brings to a nuclear family are complimentary. They go together, but they are not the same thing. Are there broken families? There’re absolutely are. Is the American family under duress and pressure and stress like never before? It is. But we must never say that that because of those pressures or stresses, that somehow we, you know, exclude the centrality and the importance of the family. As I said earlier, we had Focus on the Family, say every day, that the center of the project because we’re Christians is the gospel of Jesus Christ and built upon that are the wonderful gifts that he gives to us: moms, dads, marriages, family, parenting, it all goes together and it is from this smallest civilization, the family, that all the concentric circles come together as God wanted them to: the church, the neighborhood, the community, the workplace, you know, our duty and our role in this narrative of life.

So, we must always hold up the family, we must always defend the family, if I may say, we must always focus on the family, because family is so important and we must be eager here in Washington, DC or wherever God has placed us, we have to be able to speak truth to power when attacks come upon marriage or family or parenting. That’s very important.

Rick:

It’s no mistake that the name of your organization is Focus on the Family and it is needed. And I think sometimes we’re in an effort to, what’s the right way to say this, I guess to deal with how many broken families we have, in an effort to say hey, you know, single moms are doing the best that they can, grandmas are coming around to help and you know, all of those things in an effort to maybe not place blame where we probably should have on the fathers that left. We’ve tried to make it sound like all structures of a family are equal and are the same and that really is a mistake, because it gives dads you know, unfortunately an excuse or feel like it’s okay to walk away, they’ll be fine because so and so was raised by a single mom and dad okay. And so, it is important to come back and say, wait, what is the best situation, what is the ideal, not just ideal, but what definitely produces better results and to focus on that and remind people? And then you know, you do the best you can with what you got and where you are. And God is gracious and merciful. But we cannot devalue his design.

Tim:

May I say I agree with everything that you’ve said. And when I was last on this program, we were talking about my book, American Restoration. And the reason I mentioned that, Rick is because you may recall that while the book is titled American Restoration, the subtitle is ‘How Faith Family and Personal Sacrifice Can Heal our Nation’. And the reason we wrote American restoration and the way that it fits into this conversation, is that it’s a clarion call to truly make America great again by making America good again. And how do we do that? We have to find a timely and precious way to say that the Judeo-Christian morals upon which our great nation was based, those morals remained the most solid foundation for what Jesus himself referred to. You know, as the kind of shining city and that we have to reengage upon these moral foundations, the first institutions, the timely institutions. Yes, it’s government, you know, and yes, it’s the church and yes, it’s a lot of other institutions that comprise the landscape of our nation. But if we are going to really restore the country, it begins with the family.

You know, and as you so beautifully said, we are living in a time where although family has never been more important. The family is at many turns crumbling. So, there’s no question that the heart and soul of America is ailing. And the question is, you know, without becoming discouraged or despairing, how do we say this is the kind of country that we want 50 years from now? What are the steps we have to take? And every one of those turns I would argue, it is necessary more than ever to restore the family to the center of America’s values.

Rick:

You know, Tim, as you know, we work with a lot of young people and young leaders of the next generation. And for you as someone that’s been, you know, worked at the White House for Heritage, for senators and I mean all the different things that you’ve done on the political side of things, would you agree with the statement that, you know, even as we know, all of these things are vitally important. If the family unit is the nuclear the core, then as important as it is, what happens at the White House or the State House, most important is what’s happening right now in your house and can we challenged these young people to say, if you really want to save America, there’s a lot of things you need to be doing as a citizen, but you also first and foremost, need to be raising a good family, doing your job as a husband and a father or as a mom and a wife? Is that a fair statement?

Tim:

Absolutely. It is up to us in this generation, not the next one or the one after, but in this generation, it’s up to us to show that a fraying culture, you know, is not destined to be the future of America. We have to show a fraying culture that marriage and family is so much more than just a piece of paper or an association of any two or more persons, you know, who profess to love one another. It’s a sacred union of a man and a woman that confers married benefits on the spouses, their children and society at large; a benefit, I might say, Rick, that cannot be replicated by any other relationship.

You know, we at Focus on the Family goes so far as to say that a society cannot flourish or even long survive without stable marriages and stable families, the nuclear family, at its core. Government cannot save a marriage, government cannot tuck a child into bed at night. We have never needed strong nuclear and extended families more than we’ve ever needed them than now. And I would say that in any concept of the answer to what kind of country do we want 50 years from now is ultimately directed toward the question of marriage, family and parenting.

Rick:

So good. So good Tim Goeglein, focusonthefamily.com is where you can read more from Tim. You can listen to the broadcast that he’s on, as well, Tim, we appreciate you, brother. Let’s do it again soon.

Tim:

Such a pleasure and an honor. Thanks, Rick.

Rick:

Alright, guys, we’re back here with Jonathan Ritchie and David Barton. And guys, I mean, clearly, the family is still the best, you know, best way to form a society. But we’ve sort of accepted this idea of anything can make up a family. So, to turn that around, I mean, you’ve got to get the stats out there and you’ve got to come back. We say biblical, historical, constitutional perspective. Well, the biblical perspective is we need that core unit. And historically, the data shows us how much better society will be if we have that core unit of a father in a mother in that home.

Jonathan:

Yeah, and I think, you know, Tim’s breakdown of Brooks’s argument was spot on. Because right, Brooks is arguing that because now that the nuclear family is fractured, you know, we have to supplement, you know, the place of the father with maybe the grandfather or uncle or an aunt like we have to expand that basis for the family in order to make up for the deficiencies that we see in the culture development. But I don’t think, our first answer should be a replacement of the nuclear family but a restoration of it, Right? I should argue that, you know what, father shouldn’t leave the house. So just like Tim was arguing, so I think he was spot on, in that, you know, assessment of Brooks’s argument.

I was thinking while I was reading the article and listening to Tim talk about it, you know, I was thinking of Genesis 2:24. And you know, Jesus and Paul mention this verse as well. But it says a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife. Right? The Bible from the beginning talks about you don’t maintain that extended family, you create your own nuclear family and that’s the building block. Because if you were to stay with your father and mother and then add in more people, you’re not taking ground, you’re not expanding, you don’t have room to grow your own family. You’re still kind of underneath somebody else’s vine and fig tree and not planting another fig tree.

David:

That’s great. I’ve done a number of weddings and right along that line…

Jonathan:

You personally or?

David:

I have been married several times because I’ve performed a bunch of weddings.

Jonathan:

Okay, that’s a good clarification.

David:

A good clarification. Yeah, I’ve performed a bunch of weddings. And in performing those weddings, there’s a quote I love from Ben Franklin, because it really does go back to the same Genesis kind of passage you’re talking about, Jonathan. But Franklin said that a married couple is like two parts of the scissor. You know, one part by itself doesn’t give you much. But when you put the two parts together, you get something that’s functional and something that works.

And I’ve always been amazed at how that in Genesis 1, also in Genesis 2, God made man and his image, male and female created he him. So, his image is male and female. And so, I’ve always pointed out that, look, when you have a nuclear traditional marriage of a man and a woman, you’re closer to the image of God. And when you raise kids where they can see a father and a mother, they get a better image of God.

And so, like with Jonathan, you and Kate, you know, if I’m going to ask, who’s got the beauty In your family, they aren’t going to be you, Jonathan. It’s going to be Kate.

Jonathan:

No, wait a second.

David:

It’s not you. But on the other hand, if I say, alright, who’s got the physical strength? You got that one nailed and Kate doesn’t. But your kids will grow up knowing both sides, that there is the tenderness and beauty of God. There’s also the discipline and the strength that’s needed. And so, when you grow up in a family without part of that, you get a bad view of God, which you’re going to get bad theology as a result. Because psychologists point out to, so often, God is created in the image your father and if you have a father or lack of a father, then your image of God is all skewed. And so, nuclear family and the sense of, you know, Jonathan and I hadn’t thought about it, but you leave your father and mother, you’d leave the grandparents, you create your own independent family, I mean, that is God’s idea is the nuclear family were ordered to do.

Jonathan:

It’s what we’re to do.

Rick:

Well, let’s make it practical for the folks at home. I mean, you know, as we said in the interview, I mean, it’s not as important what happened in the State House, in the White House, is what happens in your house. So, what can people at home do to specifically strengthen their nuclear family?

David:

Rick, I answered that but by saying what I’m learning at this stage of my life, because I’ve been an athlete for all my life, very active, very strong, very physical… Yeah, really. And now I’m having to work so much harder to maintain that. I don’t have the stamina to run like I used to run. I don’t have the ability to jump like I used to jump. I can’t grab rim like I used to in basketball. So, I’m having to work harder at it. Which goes to the fact that as a married couple, you need to work hard at keeping that relationship strong. You can’t just coast on what it’s been.

And so, it’s just sad as so many churches today offer marriage seminars anymore. I don’t care how long you’ve been married, you ought to be going to marriage seminars, you ought to be working on your marriage, you ought to be reminded of basic things and strengths, going back and reinforcing the first fruits as we’re told in the Bible, reinforcing the foundations. That’s a good thing to do. And that’s something all the kids need to see is you’re putting a lot of time and to keep in a successful marriage a lot of times on spouse and that’s really good for everybody to see.

Jonathan:

But I mean, I’ve been married for six months, so I’m clearly the expert in this group. But I’m not going to tell you all my secrets, you’ll have to figure it on your own.

David:

That’s why we go to marriage seminars.

Rick:

Will you be hosting a seminar for us next weekend?

Jonathan:

Yeah. Yeah.

Rick:

Well, it’s so true, David, and even later in life even more important to continue to do that. But in those younger years, as you’re raising those kids, having a joyful home and really working on your marriage to be a model so that your kids believe in the nuclear family and they want to produce a home similar to what you provide, it’s so important to pass that on to them as well. It doesn’t come easy. It’s hard work and you know, the ups and downs and all that good stuff, but there’s so many great tools out there. In fact, we might need to get some good guests on like Jimmy Evans and some others that do fantastic marriage programs. But just encourage everybody to study that and make your home an example of what the society actually needs.

In everything that we do, we should be striving for excellence, doing at the best that we can as an unto God, not onto man, that includes our families, how we operate as citizens, what we do in our business, all of those things and you know, we all need help to do that, we all need coaches in our lives, whether it’s with that marriage, you know, doing those seminars and reading those books or finding good counselors that help us through all of our own personal situations, but helping us to have marriages and families that thrive or in terms of being a good citizens.

Sometimes you need a coach to help you to be a good citizen, to teach you what it means in our particular constitutional republic. We do that through our Constitution Alive program and our Constitution coach program. And then maybe it’s just good coaching in terms of your business and finding good mentors out there. All of those things, it’s about seeking excellence, is about doing the best that you can, having multitude of counselors and we should do that in every single area of our life.

If you would, please consider going to wallbuilderslive.com today and making a contribution that’s coming alongside us and helping us to continue this great work and to expand it and to reach more people. So, consider making that financial contribution. We’re asking everybody, as a citizen to give of your life, your fortune and your sacred honor. And your life means your time, just like we’re talking about, to study what it means to be free and then helping other people to do the same thing. Your fortune means investing in good freedom. There are a lot of great places you can do that across the country if WallBuilders Live is not the place to do that, that’s fine, but look for somewhere else that you can invest in freedom, good candidates, good organizations. We hope that you see the value in what we’re doing and educating people about these founding principles and that we will consider us as good investment as thousands of people do across the country.

Thank you to every one of you out there that has been donating to WallBuilders Live. God bless you for those donations and coming alongside us financially. Lives, fortune, sacred honor, every single one of us need to do each of those three things in whatever way God is called us to. Thanks so much for listening. You’ve been listening to WallBuilders Live.